As 2023 concludes, let me paraphrase and localize President John F. Kennedy’s memorable words from his 1961 inaugural address: “Ask not what Oregon can do for you – ask what you can do for Oregon.”

So, here’s what you can do for Oregon in 2024: Resolve to make at least one new friend each month. Not just any friend but someone who is unlike yourself, whether in politics, faith, race/ethnicity or other ways.

Why? The resulting conversations on the grassroots level could begin to achieve what often eludes statewide policymakers: bridge the political, geographic and other divides that undermine Oregon. 

“We impoverish our civil discourse and promote polarization when we fall prey to the belief that, when our neighbors hold different values, we can no longer speak with them, even to clarify where we disagree,” former state Rep. Marty Wilde, D-Eugene, said in this week’s edition of his Letters from a Recovering Politician.

Wilde, who sometimes annoyed other legislative Democrats by challenging the status quo, wrote: “Representing a swing district gave me an appreciation of the legitimate interests of my constituents, even when I disagreed with them. For instance, Brownsville was very concerned that water quality monitoring in the Calapooia River would force them to invest in a water treatment system that they could not afford. While I fundamentally disagreed with them on water monitoring, I appreciated that they really couldn’t afford the cost of a new system and worked to find a way to help fund it if [the] need arose.” 

He noted that he is a good friend of former House Republican Leader Mike McLane, with whom he worked in the Oregon Air National Guard, despite their differences on many important issues. 

Speaking of friendship, as OPB Radio listeners heard on Thursday morning, “Americans are spending more time alone and less time with friends.” That harms not only individuals but society.

Meanwhile, research shows that Oregonians and other Americans increasingly self-segregate. We want to be around and interact with people just like us (which I find boring).

According to the Pew Research Center, 63% of U.S. adults say all or most of their close friends are of the same race or ethnicity as themselves. Other research indicates a majority of Americans lack close friends of the opposing political party. As is reflected in the Greater Idaho campaign, increasing numbers of conservative Americans are moving to “red” states and liberal Americans to “blue” states. The Associated Press reported, “Americans are segregating by their politics at a rapid clip, helping fuel the greatest divide between the states in modern history.”

Larger segments both of Republicans and Democrats “now describe those in the other party as more closed-minded, dishonest, immoral and unintelligent than other Americans,” according to Pew. “Today, 72% of Republicans regard Democrats as more immoral, and 63% of Democrats say the same about Republicans.”

Again, why does this matter? If we spend little time talking with – and more important, listening to – people of opposing persuasions, we misjudge them. We see differences, not commonalities.

A September paper from the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace reported that in reality, “American voters are less ideologically polarized than they think they are, and that misperception is greatest for the most politically engaged people. Americans across parties share many policy preferences. There is some overlap even on hot-button issues, such as abortion and guns. …”

The analysis continued: “[M]ost partisans hold major misbeliefs about the other party’s preferences that lead them to think there is far less shared policy belief. This perception gap is highest among progressive activists, followed closely by extreme conservatives: in other words, the people who are most involved in civic and political life hold the least accurate views of the other side’s beliefs.’”

In short, we say we’re tired of the polarization in our society but we perpetuate it. We say we’re tired of political infighting and gridlock but we support the candidates who exemplify hyper-partisanship.

Readers may recall this fall’s Capital Chatter interviews with Senate President Rob Wagner, D-Lake Oswego; Senate Republican Leader Tim Knopp of Bend; House Speaker Dan Rayfield, D-Corvallis; and then-House Republican Leader Vikki Breese-Iverson of Prineville. All four said the Oregon Legislature is more congenial than the news media make it seem.

However, to elicit news coverage, legislative partisans send out volatile press releases. And to get elected, candidates lean into those explosive headlines. 

We have only ourselves to blame. To quote the Carnegie Endowment again: “Parties and candidates clearly believe that more polarizing candidates are more likely to win elections. This may be a self-fulfilling prophecy … .”